Dealing with Tantrums

Hi mama,

We’re living our best cozy toddler life, but tantrums still happen! Every toddler has them—it's their way of communicating when something’s not right, and they're struggling to express it.

It’s tempting to rush in and make it stop, but sometimes slowing down is more effective. The Whole Brain Child book has helped me understand the science behind tantrums, and it’s given me a fresh perspective, especially during those tougher moments.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

1. Tantrums aren’t rational. The cerebral cortex, which helps with decision-making, isn’t in play during a tantrum. The best thing I can do is offer support and help Emi calm down.

2. Know your child. Some kids like cuddles to calm down, while others (like Emi) don’t. Learn what works for your little one.

3. Communication frustration. Many tantrums come from not being able to express needs. Be mindful of this and work on key words or signs to help your child communicate.

Here’s what helps me during a tantrum:

1. Understand the trigger. Most of Emi’s tantrums are book-related. She wants a book and Mama didn’t guess which one fast enough. When she’s frustrated, I go through a mental checklist of what she might want— the books she’s currently into, water, or to open the closet. Once we figure it out, I say, "I understand you were upset because you wanted X, and it took Mama a minute to figure that out. But we stayed as calm as possible and we figured it out."

2. Plan B: If we haven’t resolved it and she’s still crying, I offer opportunities to wind down: “Let’s take a walk to clear our heads” or “How about we sing a song and try again after?”

And sometimes, all fails and all I can do is be a calming presence while she works it out. Here’s what goes through my mind during those times:

• She can’t control her emotions right now, but I can.

• If I lose my cool, it’ll only make things worse.

• Breathe in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Hold. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Release.

• This is normal. All toddlers have tantrums. It’s not personal.

• Ok, let me sing a song in my head.

• This too shall pass.

Tantrums are tough, but offering support and staying calm is key. You’ve got this, mama!

In joyful motherhood,

Liz

EAT: Emi is all about pasta right now, especially ravioli stuffed with veggies like spinach or pumpkin. Since she’s loving pasta, it’s a great chance to try something similar. I’m excited to try these Better-For-You Homemade Spaghetti-Os. Check out the recipe here!

READ: So…I’ve gone off-script on my reading challenge and binged all the ACOTAR books. Now I’m deep into the Crescent City series. If you're looking for a book to get lost in, these are it. Just make sure you have someone to discuss them with—you’ll have opinions you will NEED to share!

CRAFT: I found this free crochet pattern for adorable little acorns. They’re not only cute but also perfect for sensory play! Here’s the pattern.

SENSORY: Fall-themed sensory play is in full swing! Here are some of our favorite finds.

MUSIC: If your little one loves a particular song, try switching up the lyrics. Emi’s favorite song is about a green frog, so now we’ve got a version with a yellow duck—new words, same tune!

LANGUAGE: As you now know, most of Emi’s tantrums are book-related so we read a lot. Her current favorite is Who’s Tail is This?—we read it at least 10 times a day.

MINDFULNESS: Don’t miss our October affirmations! Download them here. For more ways to teach mindfulness to your little one, click here.

ART: Emi is finally showing real interest in play dough that doesn’t involve eating it! I’m thinking it’s time to get serious and buy some tools. Here’s the set I’ve been eyeing.

p.s. All my free printables are available here.

I love a good woodland fantasy, and this setup by Sunshine Sensory is giving me everything I need!

*All of the linked products are independently selected and curated by me. If you love and buy something, I may earn a commission.